DAY 34
Dear impostor syndrome,
no matter how much knowledge I had acquired in each of my jobs, you always came back to haunt me.
I constantly lived in fear that I wasn’t worthy of the job I had and that someone would expose me, that I didn’t actually know what I was doing.
Although I was the one with the most knowledge, who successfully tackled all kinds of problems for clients and customers, yet I couldn’t really see my abilities, never recognized them.
Of course, today I can see that this was due to my lack of self-confidence. But at the time, all I could think was: I hope no one finds out, that I’m pretending to be something I’m not, like a fraud. And it was eating me up inside.
Another reason, however, is that we are taught in society that you have to be an expert in a subject before you can help other people to master it.
But who tells us that this expert has really mastered it?
And who decides whether his path to the goal is also the path for other people?
What if someone else is just a little bit ahead of other people in their life, but is far from being an expert, yet their path would help many more people than the expert’s path?
But society tells us that this person does not have the right to give other people advice.
That’s why our inner compass, which is connected to divine wisdom, is so important in my eyes. Because if you can work with it and trust it, it will tell you which advice is better suited to your own path.
Which truth is the one that serves you, because not everyone has the same truth.
And that is precisely one of the reasons why I myself struggled with it for a long time, why I didn’t want to share my knowledge that the world is different from what we are taught.
I was also afraid of being labeled a fraud because my inner journey is far from complete and I still have a long way to go before I have clarified all the issues for myself.
But now I have realized that this is exactly what makes me so strong. Precisely because I am not “enlightened” and I am just stuck in these doubts, problems and feelings, perhaps only two steps further along than someone who is still at the beginning, I can empathize much better with the needs of other people.
And that’s exactly why I decided to write this novel.
To share all my experiences with the whole world and show that I can understand you, that I know your inner struggles and that I want to show you that you don’t have to be stuck there forever, that there is a way out.
I can feel that there are a lot of bad bonds between you and me, impostor syndrome, and in order to move on and help others with their problems, I need to erase that in my system.
That’s why I call you my guides and all the light beings around me to help me cut this bond.
I am going to take the big golden scissors now and cut the lines to the beliefs that I am a fraud and not knowing what I’m talking about.
All that is left now is the knowledge that I can help others with my work and that it is absolutely worth it.
Thank you, my guides and all the light beings, around me, for your help to free me from my old thoughts.
Thank you, Papa, for this opportunity, I love you.