DAY 78
Dear back and forth,
every time I think I’ve made another small step in my journey; my treacherous mind intervenes and catapults me back to the beginning.
It’s really hard not to sink into complete frustration.
Two steps forward and three steps back again and again.
And I have to keep reminding myself that my mind has been in control of my actions for over 40 years. Of course it won’t give up so easily, it won’t voluntarily surrender its position of power to something else that it can’t understand itself.
And yet I feel this strong inner desire to overcome my mind and my ego and finally remember what lies beneath.
And as much as I want to fight my mind and the ongoing carousel of thoughts, that’s exactly the wrong way to go.
Because fighting it would only lead to my mind and my ego gaining even more power over me.
Becoming an observer who doesn’t interfere and accepts what’s going on inside me is probably the most difficult thing I’ve had to learn in my life so far.
But I have to be patient, I have to surrender to it in order to transform what is supposed to happen.
Thanks to Papa, I know that I don’t have to go through this alone, that there is always someone there to support and accompany me.
Thank you, my guides and all the light beings, around me, for your support in this process.
Thank you, Papa, for your unconditional love and for these opportunities, I love you.