DAY 74
Dear meditation,
every morning and every evening I sit down for at least 15 minutes and work with you.
You help me to control this chaos in my head.
Even though my mind keeps trying to tell me that I shouldn’t even try, that it’s a futile labor of love.
And yet I feel inside that it calms me down, gives me inner peace.
I turn away from the doubts created by my ego, which seems to laugh its head off every time I get lost again in the stream of thoughts during meditation.
But for me, it is already a success if I manage to concentrate on silence for even a single minute during a meditation.
Because there is no such thing as a bad meditation, even if my head keeps telling me that I can never manage to defeat it.
But what my mind doesn’t want to understand is that I don’t intend to defeat it, I just don’t want to be controlled by it anymore.
Because I’m so fed up with his doubts, his complaints and his negative visions of the future.
Just let me fucking enjoy the present moment, that’s all I’m asking of you.
But you’re trying to destroy the inner peace that this creates in me, bombarding me with thoughts about past events and possible future scenarios.
I am so tired of being dominated by you and that is exactly why I will continue to meditate every single day, morning and evening, to deprive you of the fuel that drives you further and further into driving me mad with this carousel of thoughts.
Now is my time, the time to be my soul.
The soul, which is so much more than my ego and the thoughts it creates.
Thank you, my guides and all the light beings, around me, for your support in this process.
Thank you, Papa, for your unconditional love and for these opportunities, I love you.