DAY 65
Dear hole,
I am stuck between the feeling that I no longer fit into my life and the desire to finally be just the awareness.
And my tricky mind has created this idea in my head that I’m sitting in a rabbit hole.
The more I try to find my way out of it, the more my mind tries to convince me that it’s “beautiful” where I am.
It tries to lure me with distractions, it tries to make me feel that anything beyond that would not be good for me and it sends me so many doubts.
I know it’s just my mind fighting not to lose control of myself, but sometimes it’s really hard.
I’m still struggling with the patterns inside me that I need to actively do something to stop this.
Being patient has never been my strong point.
And the fact that what I’m supposed to achieve isn’t a place to go, that there isn’t really anything to achieve, but that I just need to remember who I really am, makes it so incredibly hard to let it happen.
It is precisely because my mind cannot understand and accept this fact that it fights so fiercely not to lose its position.
And it really feels strange that I just sit down in a situation like this and surrender to the silence.
But at the same time, when I do that, the thoughts become quieter and I feel an inner peace that shows me through the feeling of harmony that this is exactly what brings me to my soul.
Thank you, my guides and all the light beings, around me, for clearing this in my mind.
Thank you, Papa, for your unconditional love and for this opportunity, I love you.