DAY 35
Dear doing,
from an early age, you were the thing that defined my life.
I was taught that I was only worth something if I did something, achieved something, contributed something to the lives of others through active action.
I was often reminded that I shouldn’t always daydream and be lazy.
I am only just realizing what kind of imprint has been stored in my unconsciousness with these words.
I am lazy when I just sit there and think about my dreams.
No wonder I’ve often felt so unhappy and hopeless, as the connection to my dreams has been imprinted with a negative feeling. Because unconsciously you try to avoid bad feelings and so I also avoided thinking about my dreams.
So doing was all I had. I was constantly doing something for others so that I could prove that I wasn’t wasting my life.
My whole life consisted of work and if I wanted to give my body a break, I already had a guilty conscience.
Even when I took my well-deserved vacation, I always felt guilty that my other colleagues at work had to do my work. How completely stupid was I?
But that’s what happens when you’re told as a child that you shouldn’t sit around doing nothing and that you should help with the washing up instead.
It’s what happens when you want to take a little nap during the vacations and your mother comes in the door and asks why you’re sleeping again, instead you can do something useful and help her with the housework.
This is what happens when you’re sitting in the garden watching the birds and enjoying nature and your mother comes to you and tells you that you shouldn’t stare at the air so pointlessly and that you should clear the weeds in the flower bed instead.
Doing, doing, doing.
No time to just be.
But that’s exactly what will end here!
I will start to break this vicious circle today.
That’s why I call you my guides and all the light beings around me to help me cut this bond.
I am going to take the big golden scissors now and cut the lines to the beliefs that I am only worth something when I am doing something.
All that is left now is the knowledge that I earn all the good in the world just by existing.
Thank you, my guides and all the light beings, around me, for your help to free me from my old thoughts.
Thank you, Papa, for this opportunity, I love you.