DAY 61
Dear answers,
on Day 21 I wrote about one of my best friends who killed himself at the age of 16.
And that I always wondered whether I could have done anything about it.
And now yesterday I actually got an answer to my question.
By chance, my husband saw the reel about Rene on my Instagram account and he asked me who this friend was.
We never talked about it, why should we?
My friend died long before I met him.
And now it turns out that my husband knew my friend’s parents and also met him shortly before he took his own life. And on top of that, my husband had the opportunity to read the farewell letter that Rene wrote to his parents.
And what was in there gave me so many answers that I almost lost faith:
Rene wrote that he couldn’t cope with his life because he felt like a stranger in this world, like he didn’t belong here. He also wrote that he felt as if he had been born in the wrong body and at a completely wrong time, that he shouldn’t have been in this world until 200 years later.
And suddenly I understood so many things, so many pieces of the puzzle came together in my consciousness.
Now I understood why we were such good friends.
Because I often felt like I didn’t fit into this world too.
And I also had problems accepting my body. Sometimes I had the feeling that he just wants to torture me.
And now I know that I couldn’t have changed how he felt when I was 16, because I didn’t have the knowledge of why this is happening to us.
But thanks to my mentors and Papa, I now know what it all means and why it has to be like this.
I just wish I could say to every person out there who also feels like they don’t belong in this world, contact me and I’ll tell you why you are the way you are.
Contact me and you will understand why you have problems accepting your body.
Contact me and I can show you how to deal with it and stop feeling so lost.
There is nothing wrong with you, you are just as right as you are and understanding that is so important and will change everything, I can promise you that, because it has for me too.
Thank you, Papa, for bringing me the answer after I had accepted that I would never get one.
Thank you, my guides and all the light beings, around me, for your support in every single second in my life.
Thank you, Papa, for your unconditional love and for this opportunity, I love you.