DAY 21
Dear Rene,
when I finished Day 20 yesterday, I actually assumed that I had completed my clearing with the people who had influenced me the most in my past.
But when I was out walking the dog yesterday evening, an event in my life suddenly came back to me.
And I never thought it would have any significance, but somehow, I have the feeling that Papa wanted to give me a little nudge not to let this event go unnoticed.
And it’s true, for a long time I didn’t think about you and what happened so many years ago.
You, Rene, were one of my best friends at elementary school. We got up to so much nonsense together and always laughed our heads off. And when I finally went to grammar school and you went to another school, we never saw each other again.
But when I was 16, we met on the street.
I recognized you immediately, but you probably didn’t recognize me – after all, I was no longer the little girl who looked more like a boy.
And we walked past each other as if we’d never met before.
I really wanted to speak to you, just to say hello. But after being bullied by the other girls at school and now having no self-confidence and hating myself and my body, I just didn’t dare.
Just two weeks later, my parents told me that you had killed yourself.
You jumped in front of a train when you were just 16 because your girlfriend had left you.
And sometimes I really wondered whether I could have done something about it.
What would have happened if we had spoken to each other like we used to. Maybe you would have told me about your heartache and I could have been there for you?
Would it have made a difference if I had been braver?
Could I perhaps have prevented it?
25 years have passed and yet I still have tears in my eyes, Papa was right, the pain is still with me.
I know I won’t get an answer to this question as long as I live, but I also know that we will meet again when my time comes.
All I can do right now is sever this bad bond that connects us and holds me back from becoming who I am meant to be.
So, I call you my guides and all the light beings around me to help me cut these bonds.
I am going to take the big golden scissors now and cut the lines to lost, pain and the feeling of guilt.
All that is left now is the unconditional love for my friend.
Thank you, my guides and all the light beings, around me, for the help to heal this wound.
Thank you, Papa, for this opportunity, I love you.