DAY 2
My dear body, for 41 years we are together, but still, I feel a separation between us.
After all that knowledge I learned I know now, that I have chosen you. But for so many years I thought, that you are my burden.
I hated you because of how my face looks. I hated you for my crooked teeth. I hated you, because I am almost blind without my glasses. I hated you for my stubborn hair, which never became as long as I had wished for. I hated you for the acne in my face from the moment I got 16 until I became 30. I hated you for my body, which was getting thicker and thicker as the years went by. I hated you for the pain and illnesses you caused me.
But now I know, that I am the reason why all this happened. Because I was not able to see my beautiful green eyes with the yellow sparks in it. I couldn’t see the slight hint of dimples in my cheeks. I couldn’t see my sweet nose, my rounded cheekbones and the strength in my curved eyebrows.
I even can’t remember how often I changed my hair color to not see my natural dark blond. Like I always tried to be someone else.
I remember that I always was sitting with a round back at school in my chair and tried to hide. So that no one, no teacher or a classmate, would recognize me and intend to speak with me. Walking upright and with a confident posture through the corridor was not possible for me.
I hid my body under long and loose clothing. And when my breasts got bigger and bigger, I felt even more uncomfortable. I tried to hide them as much as possible and kept them at bay with uncomfortably tight bras.
I tortured you with too tight clothes and shoes, just to look alike these skinny models I saw on TV. I tortured you with many different types of diets, hours of Taebo-training and step aerobics. Not to become healthier, no, only to get a better look.
I am so sorry for that!
And you tried so often to warn me, that this is not the way, especially not our way together. But I have never listened. I just was mad at you when I got a cold, had pain in one part of the body or when I suddenly felt nauseous.
I am so sorry!
But from this point forward I swear to you, that I am ready to listen now.
Every day I will work on it to give you the respect, the love and the attention that you deserve.
We belong together for this life. I want to create a harmonic relationship between you and me. And this starts by taking care of you, taking care of what we eat and to release these bad emotions that are stuck into our system.
From now on we will work on this every day until the end of our unity.