DAY 3
Yesterday when I was lying in bed and tried to fall asleep a lesson from one of my mentors came up in my mind. To clear my body from all these bad emotions I have to go through all the people in my life that I created a bond with. And I must reflect what this bond means to me and my future.
So today I will start with my female ancestors.
Dear grandma Gertrud, today I understand why you became this cold-hearted woman.
But even you couldn’t show us how kind and wonderful person you were, I can see now, that you expressed your feelings by taking care of us. When my sister, my female cousin, my male cousin and I have spent the holiday’s at your house, you was always there for us. You helped us with our schoolwork, you let us play whatever we wanted and we could choose our favorite meal and you cooked it every single day.
I really loved your Chicken soup with your handmade noodles. Maybe that is the reason why I also make handmade noodles when I have the time to cook Chicken soup.
And you were the best cakebaker I ever met. For every family-party, every birthday-party of a family member or friends or even Christmas you made a lot of great tasting cakes with at least 6 different types of cake.
I tried to bake my favorite cake 5 times after you gave me the recipe, but it never worked. Your fluffy chocolate cake with the delicious lemon icing was always at least 5 cm high. But when I done it, the cake wasn’t even 2 cm thick and somehow always tasted like raw batter. So, I gave up trying it.
But what I am really sad of is, that I will never be able to drink your wonderful tea again. Your delicious forest and meadow tea. You collected all those leaves, flowers and herbs by yourself and dried them carefully. I used to drink your tea every day in the morning and in the evening and of course when it was teatime with a piece of your delicious cake.
Damn I never realized how much I miss these times.
I always wanted to ask you so many things, but because I was afraid of you, I never tried.
You were supposed to be the strong woman, even if you couldn’t sleep because of backpain or the pain in your knees. And you stayed strong every day until dementia began to erase your memories and all your abilities.
I was 30 when I saw you changing from this woman that had to be everything under control to a helpless woman. And it hurt to see you suffering every day more. When you had your clear moments and a family member come to visit you, you always begged them to bring you a gun, so you could end this. At the age of 86 you have been redeemed.
I am sitting here crying, when I write these words. It’s obvious that there is a really strong bond that has to heal.
So I am calling all my guides and light beings around me to help me clear these emotions that stuck in my body and my system. Because I now will take a big golden scissors and cut that bond.
I cut that bond of fear, pain, suffering and misunderstanding between you and me grandma Gertrud.
I now release all those feelings and clear my system.
The only thing that is left now is thankfulness, that I was able to met you and unconditional love.
Because now I know, that all this was happened because it had to be. It was our soul contract.
Thank you for everything, I will love you forever. And I now, that we will see each other again in our real home at the side of Papa.
Dear grandmother Erika,
I never had the chance to really get in contact with you. When my father died you blamed my mother of it and said you never wanted to see me and my sister again.
So, this was the first time I got dumped by a person at the age of 4.
And then when I was 27 you survived a heart attack and for some reason it changed something in you. All of a sudden you wanted to see my sister and me.
We agreed to meet you, but of course it was like talking to an old strange woman. But my sister and I got the hope to come closer to you and maybe get some information what kind of person our father was.
But when we arrived for our second meeting you shouted at us and chased us out of the yard. You were convinced, that we only had come to you because we wanted to have your money or your house.
So, this was the second time you dumped us. And this time I was old enough to be hit by those extremely painful feeling, that I am not wanted.
2 years later you passed away and all the chances that I could ever have to get closer to my own grandmother died with you.
So, for now and forever I must cut that bond with you.
I am now taking the big golden scissors and cut that bond of pain and being not wanted.
All that is left now is our connection of the ancestries.
And in this way, I also have to cut all the bonds with my older ancestries that I never met. I don’t know what you all been through, but if there is anything that is keeping me from my path, I am cut that now.
Until now I never believed, that this relationships are holding me that tight in sadness, but now I ended this for good.
I feel free energy rising up inside of me, it feels great.
Thank you, all my guides and light beings around me, for helping me with it.
Thank you, Papa, for this opportunity, I love you.