DAY 121
Dear button,
again and again is my ego trying to provoke me.
While I am trying to stay calm and in the present moment, it fights with emotions and drama, that almost beat me down.
It even involves the ego of other person around me to make me behave in a way he wants me to.
He wants me in a state of anger and frustration and I have to admit, that it is still hard for me to not jump on that train.
I still need more than one second before I recognize that my uprising bad emotions came from my mind and not really from me.
And how those emotions want to get me into a fighting mode, defending myself as if a living tiger is standing in front of me and wants to eat me alive.
Such a fundamental reaction of my body, but the situations I feel these emotions are meaningless in compare to a situation where my life is depending on it.
And I can feel that my mind is trying it harder and harder to get me back into thought carousels and those frightening emotions.
But I recognize these tricks more and more and try to feel the present moment no matter what.
I still need a lot of practice for that, but I am getting better and better in this.
Thank you, my guides and all the light beings, around me, for your support in this process.
Thank you, Papa, for your unconditional love and for these opportunities, I love you.